Blood, Fire, Death

Tits and Corpse Sleds

Session 7 Recap

PhotoGunther attempted to sneak through the large wooden doors at the end of the cavern but was immediatly spotted by the hunting hounds inside the room. The room was bright and warm and Gunther was welcomed by a man claiming to be the Winter King and his large breasted lover named Zanna. He said that Gunther and company were more than welcome to come out of the cold and dine with him and Zanna and sleep in the 4 empty beds he had.

As usual, Laoghaire wasted no time pissing off the inhabitants of the room. She rested her boot on the table, stabbed a quail with her dagger, took a bite, spit it out and demanded that this dude tell her what was up. The man, revealed to be Bortek, took offense to this and a fight broke out when Zanna attempted to bedazzle Gunther with her breasts and the hunting hounds morphed into large direwolves.

Caorawl rushed in and jumped on the table and started swinging his axe with wreckless abandon. Arvo cowered outside of the door until he felt it was safe to unleash the fury of the ice scepter. Marco brought up the rear because he was slowed down by all of the weight in his pack. The group fought with military precision this time and surrounded their targets to gain combat advantage. The fight was long and hard, just like Gunther’s boner for Zanna’s boobs. Laoghaire found a set of Elven armor in the wolf pen.

Afterwards, Gunther insisted that the group sleep in those warm beds. Unfortunately, they were full of evil magic and every member of the group had horrible nightmares of freezing to death. Upon waking, they did not feel rested at all. Arvo was pissed.

The group exited the room and descended a long tunnel into a great dwarven dining hall. Arvo was familiar with the history of the dwarven kingdom of Moradin and filled the group in. Laoghaire heard some rustling and clanking sounds coming from the top of a staircase that was at the far end of the dining hall. After a long discussion about which way to go, the group decided to play it safe and go through a set of doors that were frozen solid.

Once indside this narrow hall, the ghost of a dwarven priest was spotted mouthing the words “ice” and “key” in the dwarven tongue. Arvo remembered the history of the priests of Moradin whom the Winter King froze alive inside of the temple in order to placate the Price of Frost who had cursed the Winter King with the ice touch in punishment for the King’s arrogance and lust for power.

Pressing on, every memeber of the group sucessfully tip-toed across a dark hall to a door that was slightly ajar. No one could see inside though and they decided to just rush in. The small room was the obvious lab of an alchemist and was strewn with notes and broken viles. Searching around, Gunther found 3 frozen healing potions. Before leaving, the group noticed the frozen corpse of the alchemist cowered in the corner of the room. Without hesistation it was decided that the corpse must be taken. A crude sled was constructed so the already burdened Marco could pull the corpse along.

The ice corpse immediatly came in handy as the group decided to use it as a battering ram to break down a nearby set of double doors. When the doors burst open, frost instantly spread like wildfire all througout the room and the group was deafened by the babbling nonsense being screamed by the 3 Mad Wraiths that dwelled within…


I love the addition of the picture! I hope the next adventure goes as well as the last!

Tits and Corpse Sleds

I foresee the alchemist’s corpse being sort of like the 5 gallons of bathwater – something we pretty much always have on hand, that we use up gradually but are able to replenish. Like, say we’re down to just the legs, maybe Arvo could freeze a goblin on top of the frozen legs and make the ice block slightly bigger. This assumes that Marco is here to say, though, so my new mission is to protect him at all costs.

Tits and Corpse Sleds

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